I take a risk with this blog’s video. I am new to using advanced features in powerpoint and new to converting powerpoint to a video format. I hope you enjoy it (more importantly I hope my point is clear!) and while I am open to feedback, please be gentle 🙂
More time and energy is wasted on escalating “email wars.” I have been both instigator and hapless recipient. Why do we do this? A few reasons come to mind:
- We misread the intent behind the email because so much of the visual and emotional context is missing.
- We are stressed and have lost perspective and don’t think we have time to deal with an issue.
- We work on a virtual team and so face to face immediate contact isn’t possible (there’s a bit of an excuse here but with technologies like Skype not so much.)
- We don’t have a whole lot of emotional intelligence, in particular self and relationship management.
- We’re better writers than talkers and there’s a fair bit of satisfaction to be gained from a brilliantly (albeit destructively) worded email.
- We’re procrastinators and it’s more interesting to engage in an email war than get on with a really difficult project.
- We read meaning into an email (whether real or imagined is not important) about our overall competence or identity and feel a need to come to our own defense.
- We’ve been avoiding a difficult conversation with someone for some time and seize the opportunity to be righteous.
- We poked at wasp’s nests as kids and the pattern is still alive and well and thriving.
- We’re cowards, willing to put something in an email, but not address an issue face to face.
Outside of #9, I think I’ve been guilty of all of these although in the last few years I have learned some skills. Here’s what I try to do:
BREATHE … Breathe, Resist (React), Explore, Alternatives, Time, Honest, Expression
Put together … Breathe, resist the urge to react, explore alternative interpretations, take time before responding, take an honest look at your motivations and come up with an authentic and positive expression … whether that is heading down the hallway and having a face to face chat or asking your colleague halfway across the world for a skype call the next convenient time.
Oh, and BTW, BREATHE works if you are instigator or hapless recipient 🙂
This blog is based on the 3 of Diamonds, Don’t Use Email to Manage Conflict, from our Teamwork Explorer. Written by Tammy
