What Are You Hiding?

  What Are You Hiding? teamwork spirituality risk taking learning happiness forgiveness emotional intelligence coaching change   

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious. Carl Jung

“What most concerns you about the upcoming team session?” I asked one of my clients. I had been hired by the manager to help the team rebuild trust after a rather messy and complicated situation left many deeply hurt.

“That things will get really emotional and end up being worse.”

“That’s a pretty normal response,” I replied, “but surfacing those emotions in a healthy way will lead to healing and transformation for the team.” 

My client looked skeptical but knew that not doing anything was no longer an option as people were avoiding each other and the morale was in the tank. 

Dealing with those dark emotions we go to great lengths to hide is indeed uncomfortable. But hiding them leaves us depressed, anxious and stuck (and perhaps broke, overweight and alcoholic, depending upon what you do to keep them hidden!) 

The next time you find yourself hiding from a dark emotion, take a moment, breathe, and:

  1. Surface the emotion.
  2. Name it.
  3. Experience it fully – where do you feel it in your body?
  4. Accept it as a part of being human.
  5. Ask yourself “What’s possible from here?”
  6. Consider developing a mantra, like the one I developed in the image above to help you move into those dark emotions.

A big thanks to Lisa Sonora whose 30 day journal challenge led to me developing this mantra and blog.

Transforming dark emotions is at the heart of my book, How to Forgive Your Boss. Visit the website and you can download the first chapter free.

Letting go of fear

 Letting go of fear risk taking learning happiness creativity

Earlier this year I wrote about what it took to say yes to writing a book. Well the day has arrived when that book is actually published! I have let go of many fears – that I have nothing to say, that I can’t write, that I will expose myself too much, that no one is interested in this topic and, in particular, that people might think bosses already have too much power … why should we forgive them?

Much like letting go of fear, forgiveness helps you let go of pain, suffering and angst. 


Forgiveness sets you free and points towards renewed possibility for your life.
Click To Tweet


It doesn’t mean you agree with or condone someone’s behavior. It just lets you get your life back.

If there is someone occupying space in your head and you’re tired of carrying that negative energy around, you may find my book, How to Forgive Your Boss (or anyone who has done you wrong), a useful read. And for those in Victoria on December 1, please join me at the book launch.

And watch this space for more as I will be sharing tidbits from the book in future blogs.

But I Have No Time …

  But I Have No Time ... strategy 2 risk taking happiness emotional intelligence creativity

“But I have no time,” is something I hear myself and my clients often say in relation to expressed desires about what we’d rather be doing. What I have learned from my 30-day blogging challenge is that by not prioritizing our creativity and making time for it, we just drift through our weeks, and one day jumbles into the next.

When we make time, however, things come together, they fall into place, we complete puzzles. And, according to Amabile and Kramer of The Progress Principle, engagement relates to our ability to see progress everyday.

For people who work on complex, long term projects with lots of moving pieces, doing something tangible every day that nurtures you and your creativity is not a nice to have, it’s a need to have.

Go First

  Go First teamwork risk taking learning leadership communication

When it comes to building or rebuilding trust, there comes a point when someone needs to have the courage to go first, let down their guard and defense mechanisms and be vulnerable. Revealing what is REALLY happening for us creates the opening for trust to be built.

We often get asked “why should I go first?” Because if you don’t, your world becomes smaller and smaller and the one who suffers is you.

Making it safe to fail

The Etch A Sketch designer, Andre Cassagnes, died at the age of 86 this past month which got me thinking about creativity. A few things to note:

  • People often create outside their discipline. Cassagnes was an electrical technician who was working with metal powders and noticed the potential for a toy.
  • Etch a sketch itself, much like the ipad today, creates conditions to make it safe to fail. All you need to do is shake or erase and you can start over.
  • It’s too bad we find it so difficult to collaborate with others outside our discipline and shake and start over in organizations!

20130203-113804.jpg