There’s no bad weather.

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“There’s no bad weather, there’s only inappropriate clothing,” my sister reminded me during a winter outing in Alberta. 

“And a crappy attitude towards winter,” I thought as I watched her family play excitedly in the snow in their backyard while I stood in the doorway whining about how much I hated winter.

Given that I had moved to a warmer climate many years earlier, my clothing at the moment sucked, as did my attitude. My lack of weather resilience during the winter was one of the factors that prompted my move.

We are living in bad weather right now, if not literally wherever you are right now, then certainly figuratively. These are unpredictable times where “that could never happen” is indeed happening. Since most of us cannot control or influence much of that bad weather, we are left with donning appropriate clothing and attitudes.

This is the realm of personal resilience, the ability to thrive in the midst of any kind of situation.  Thankfully I have developed a fair bit of personal resilience over the years, even if I still do struggle with winter. 

Perhaps the first key to resilience is recognition that your life doesn’t have to be determined by what’s happening around you. We need to take a pause, and consider our path forward. My question to you is, “what clothing do you need right now to manage the weather?”

For more tips and strategies on personal resilience, it’s not too late to sign up for my online course which starts this week.

And watch this space as I will be revealing the 5 factors I consider central to personal resilience in 5 separate blogs over the next few weeks.

Season’s Greetings!!

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I wish you and yours a wonderful holiday season and a happy, healthy and abundant 2017. Thanks for your support and interest in my blogging! All the best for the season – Tammy 

On Empathy

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“But what if I really don’t care if my co-worker’s dog died? I am so not a dog person and don’t get all this pet stuff that people get into. I get that empathy is important but if I’m not feeling it, wouldn’t it be worse if I faked it?”

Touché. I had been facilitating a workshop on emotional intelligence and was talking about one of the important qualities for leaders, empathy. It was a great question and a challenge shared by other leaders I’ve worked with.

Empathy doesn’t mean total identification with someone’s specific experience, but rather recognition of the human experience of suffering. If we can get in touch with times we’ve suffered – experienced loss, sadness, loneliness – then we can use that experience to connect to another person and express empathy authentically.

Getting Over Procrastination

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I can be a procrastinator at times (even about things I want to do!) and have been thinking about the combination of things that leads me to procrastinate and how I might address that. I realized that it`s the intersection of three things … thinking that whatever I need to do is too big, too hard and that I have to do it all at once. I love blogging, for example, but if you have been following my blog you know I go through periods of regular blogging followed by no blogs for months!

I realized this past fall (after not having blogged for over six months!) that these three things were at play. So I was able to start again by telling myself to spend 10 minutes just thinking about the blog, even if I didn`t do anything else with it that day. Well, to my amazement I did an entire blog that day!

I have a work project right now that feels too big and too hard and so I am reminding myself of bigger and harder projects I have done. Then, I am committing 10 minutes towards the project. This combination seems to be working for me for now!

What are your patterns of procrastination and how have you deal with them?

In This Moment …

 In This Moment ... mindfulness learning happiness emotional intelligence

When I returned from my vacation this past September, I wasn’t able to give myself the weekend to transition as I usually do. I went from a very chilled out and quiet lake resort to downtown Vancouver in a matter of hours! As I was walking towards my hotel and witnessed two incidents of road rage while ambulances, sirens screaming, raced by, I became very aware of how anxious and grumpy I had become. Thanks to my mindfulness work with the wonderful Jivi of Winds of Change I remembered that I didn’t have to react this way, that I just needed to take one minute standing on that busy street corner and find my present center. I stood to one side of the sidewalk, took a deep breath and reminded myself that I was alive, had everything I needed and that I was just witnessing the range of human experience.

The next time you find yourself feeling anxious try saying to yourself … “In this moment” with the following prompts:

  • I am breathing and alive!
  • I observe that …
  • I notice that …
  • I feel …
  • I wonder about …
  • I appreciate …
  • I can choose to be …

There may be other prompts that work for you … but starting with “In this moment, I am …” led me to a very different experience that day!